The Moment In Between
by sctwilightvampwolfgal
Summary: Juleka and Nathanael held many questions between them since they got married, questions that even together they couldn't answer, but they'd hold on to each other through it all.


It had been many months since they'd first gotten married and thus, it had also been many months since they'd began trying for a baby. Wedding night jitters and nervously approaching each other to bring a whole new element to their relationship that night aside.

"Do you think that you might be pregnant?" Murmured Nathanael against her stomach and though this wasn't the first time that they'd had this question go through, this was the first time that there was a whole different feel to it. It felt like she might be as she'd felt a little different for a couple of days, and they'd tried to plan everything right since Nathanael had picked up a packet from Church about Natural Family Planning in the hopes that paying close attention to Juleka's cycles and her body in that regard might be just what they needed.

"May be?" Juleka suggested in a murmur, "I hope so." Nerves hit in bursts in their hearts. What if it was just another false alarm or vain hope from a method that they'd been hoping to have figured out? What if they'd be terrible parents and were really being tested in this?  
"Me too." He murmured. Despite all of the nerves that danced in the pit of their bellies, Juleka really did feel comfortable around her husband, and his presence in her life always brought such peace. He'd become the only person that she ever felt like she could open up to, the only person that somehow fit perfectly though sometimes messily into her life. A marriage was not full only of easy times, but trials and carrying of their Crosses intersected in their lives. Yet, through every trial and after everytime they forgave each other and admitted their own personal weaknesses, there was great joy and great peace.

Nathanael helped to strengthen Juleka on this road, in the same way that she helped to strengthen Nathanael. It was not an easy walk, but it was one of greater joy that simply living their careers and their lives separately.

Juleka looped an arm across her husband to hug him much closer to her; the warmth always reminded her that he was there, and she was not alone. Her eyes slipped closed, and all tiredness and exhaustion both seemed to creep up on her in a moment as well as fade away from being. She trusted that God had gifted her with the one person in the world that would help her as she stumbled through life's trials and guide her closer to Christ.

She wasn't worried, this time, as she curled up by his side. Somehow, the worry had dissipated, though she knew that they may never have kids. Perhaps, she was really pregnant this time or perhaps, children were not destined for them. Or, they may be called to a different kind of family. She'd heard of mixed adoption and biological children families such as TobyMac's family, where they had a break in time between their first child and having more, in order to reach out and adopt twins. Shortly after their family became a family of five, more biological children followed.

Or, there were homes that had only biological children or ones with only adopted ones. There were also homes that had no children, whether biological, fostered, or adopted. Juleka just knew that for both her and Nathanael this trial broke their hearts, and adoption was not in the immediate future. If they healed and did not become bitter, perhaps adoption or fostering would be a possibility, but perhaps they may just be blessed with biological children yet. Juleka had no way of knowing right now, just as she prepared to nap, with a million thoughts and hopes and dreams on her mind.

She only knew that one day the answers to all of these questions would be revealed to her and Nathanael and somehow God would heal even their brokenness together whether in a way that they never could dream of or in a way that matches all of their dreams that they'd held on to, since they day that they say, "I do."


End file.
